'Aats What I'm Tawkin' about!

And wreck all that yummy goodness?

For roughly 10 years now I have cut off the ends of chip and candy bags to reduce plastic overage and tidy it up a bit. It doesn't matter if it's a bag of Doritos, bread, or Black Forest Gummy Bears, I'd rather not get all the chip and/or candy residue on my hands or clothing. Plus, it looks better when there is not as much baggage, pardon the pun.

A friend of mine thinks I am insane because of this little idiosyncrasy. Today I caught myself slicing into an individually wrapped Twinkie, for no other reason than I did not want to just tear into the bag and screw up all the yummy goodness. Let's face it...we're talking about something very serious here. How many people are starving in China? And I'm gonna' take that for granted while ripping into something as vitally important in a world gone mad as a twinkie? Please.

My point? I don't really have one...except to say this: I'm guessing my friend not only wanted to voice his unsolicited opinion, but also wanted to shame me into changing a tradition me that goes back 10 years, but here's the kicker. I care more about the reasons I do what I do, than I do about his criticism. Get it? That's where my priority on the matter stands. What about you? Where do you stand in your priorities? Is it more important to stick to your guns when a friend, or even a stranger confronts you about "slicing the length of your Doritos bags"? Or do you fold under pressure and slip into the background for fear that others will mock you. The way I see it, I will be mocked by someone, somewhere, sometime...an awful lot. I might as well cut the bag my way than to fold simply because they cracked a few jokes at my expense. Besides, we are talking about a twinkie, here! And after all, it is hard to beat a perfect twinkie in a World Gone Mad.

Why do I need to pick up after myself?

It's certainly a messy job in a theater, a baseball stadium, football arena, or perhaps even in your own house. I spent an hour debating this very question with a couple of friends of mine last night. I was a little more than shocked at the response. My belief is that we clean up after ourselves whether it be in a theater, stadium, or grandma's house. My kids pick up their toys, their jammies, and pretty much anything else they may be leaving behind. We teach them to clean what's left of their dirty plate into the diposal, rinse it off, and place it in the dish washer. We are doing our best we can as parents to teach them about responsibility, so I am a little more than surprised to have a discussion with an adult who neglects to pick up their own popcorn bin and soda cups at the theater simply because, "No one else picks up their stuff". According to the discussion it has become culturally acceptable to leave your own mess behind at places like a movie theater or a sports arena, because everybody does it or the garbage bins are so far away that it becomes a hassle.

I believe we can actually rise above what culture expects of us as Christians, let alone as human beings. If culture says it's ok to sleep with a person of the same sex and/ jump off a building...I believe I can rise to a standard that says I will remain faithful to my spouse (who is by the way of the opposite sex) and can coem to the conclusion that whatever the problem is, it si not worth throwing myself off the top of a building and causing even more hurt and anguish.

I will sometimes fail because I am not perfect or righteous, but I do my best to follow the golden rule set forth by my faith which is to, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." These are difficult words to live by, but on something as simple as picking up after myself, and teaching my kids to do the same, I would much rather fall on this side of grace, setting an example, and showing a little kindness to the person with the broom and dustpan. I recall working at Sam's Club trying to put myself through college, gathering carts in the parking lot. I wish I could express in mere words the joy I experienced when someone actually took care of their own cart vs. the anger I felt when they would leave it in th emiddle of nowhere and I would get blamed for not doing my job properly...as if it were my job to pick up after them. That's ludicrous. If those customers tooko care of their own carts, it's not that I would have lost my job, that in itself was not my job, but rather an added bonus, cleaning up after people who did not care to do it themselves.

Below is a poll regarding the formentioned topic and we will be discussing this on an upcoming podcast at our website. We could use your opinion on this and we appreciate your time!

The Nicki 500

It was my son's birthday today. Nick turns five years old. What a great age. So, I thought, hey, why don't we hit the McD's! Good food, good times! (their next slogan) Anyway, so I pick him up from Joyce's office and he says, "Hey, Dad, I'll beat you to the door". Aha! I thought to myself. A challenge from the young lad. Battle! "I accept your challenge" I said to the ambitious child. He beats me to the door. He then beats me to the car, and to the restaurant. Upon completion of eating, he goes, "Hey Dad, I'll beat you to the car" and so away we went; jogging for all I was worth. And of course, the little tike beats me to the car.

We get back to Joyce's office, and I got a little sneaky. I ran, as fast as I could to the door with the little guy trailing far behind. I yell, and scream and leap for joy. All the while he moaps to the door in a gear so slow you might think he was traveling in reverse.

"I won!" "I won" I said as he walked his last few steps to the door. He looks at me with a gleam in his eye and the sun in his face. He says to me, "It's not a race Dad."

Can you believe it? That's what his mother and I have been saying when all three of the boys get into a race to the house, to the car, or even to the toilet, and he is just now picking up on it? Now? When I win the most important race of the entire...day? He's a funny guy.

Where do you place your Significance?

The World's Biggest...

I find it rather humerous that we as Americans can so easily and quickly say "It's the world's Biggest, Best, Tallest, Brightest, furriest, deadest cat in the world, in all the worlds, in every world, and on and on. We tend to exaggerate just a wee bit. I once asked my father as we were pasing by the famous Hillsdale fairgrounds in Hillsdale, MI if it was true. There is a ginormous sign on the side of the barns reading, "The World's Largest Fair" and I asked how we would actually know? What about the fairs in China? What about the cat fairs in India? How do they measure the size? Is it by how many people come? How many merchant booths they have? How many hogs get sold? How many cats get shot for 25 cents? Unfortunately, he had no answer. If I were to ask the owl, I fear he would say that same to me as he did to the little boy who once asked him about the number of licks it takes to get the the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. The voice tells us that the world may never know. What does that mean? Can the world itself actually tells us things...I think perhaps...not, but you could ask anyone...anyone, who listens to my show, and they will tell you that although I am not a thinker, I am an eater. I can polish off a bag of black forrest gummie bears like nobody's business, baby! 'Cuz I'm not playin around when it comes to food...it's the real deal.

I did, however think this parody of the world famous Mac Book Air, the world's smallest notebook/laptop, was rather funny. I don't know if it could be labeled as the world's funniest parody of the world's smallest laptop, but then again, we do all reside in the world gone mad...go figure.